The Ugly Truth about Fear and Anxiety

I used to be a terrible worrier. Some days I still am. It’s the one place that being naturally creative AND an extreme “detail person” gets me in trouble. If I let myself, I can, literally, think of a hundred different what ifs and bad outcomes for any situation. It’s crazy.

I remember one time, years ago, when I was a newly-wed. My husband and I had taken a five hour trip to southern Washington so he could go fishing with his dad. I planned to just veg out at my father-in-law’s house while they were gone. They got up VERY early, as fisher-people tend to do. Being young and a new wife, I got up with them in those pre-dawn hours to send them off. After having a little breakfast and grabbing their gear they headed out into the misty morning.

They couldn’t have been gone more than five minutes when I heard a train whistle in the distance. The whistle was particularly long and loud and unrelenting. It popped into my head that “my guys” would have reached the railroad crossing just about the time that whistle started wailing. Maybe their car had stalled on the tracks. Maybe they’d been hit. Maybe they were dead. I couldn’t get those growing thoughts out of my mind.

I was in a strange town. No one knew I was there. It was before cell phones. How would anyone reach me? How would I ever know? I was so afraid. I spent a very long day praying, crying and pacing. My mind ran wild. Eight or so miserable hours later, after I had planned their funerals and resigned myself to being a widow at age 19, they walked through the door happily chattering with a nice catch of fish in tow. That was the first day I realized how easily and completely fear and anxiety can take control of our lives.

I’d like to say I learned my lesson  . . . but that was only the first of my grizzly travels into fantasy land. After decades of wasting time in frantic worrying, I’ve learned a lot about trusting God but, every once in a while, I still encounter one of those days. That’s when my sweet husband usually tells me to stop being a fiction writer. Generally that wakes me up and sends me running to sort things out with God.

I assure you, I have VAST experience with fear and anxiety. Over the years I came to realize, however, that not all fear is destructive.

GOOD FEAR
There is a good kind of fear that helps spur us toward action and change.

• Fearing that we’re not living up to our potential, or making a difference in this world is often exactly what it takes to get us out of our chair and pursuing our purpose in life.
• The fear of ending up old and alone, may help us begin to join in and start working on developing some friends.
• The fear of a heart attack or other potential health issue can push us to into eating right, losing weight, or exercising.

In other words, good fear, brings positive, healthy results. We need that in our lives.

BAD FEAR
The more common form of fear, however—the one I used to struggle with—is a more sinister kind that causes complacency and stuckness. These fears are generally rooted in our life-long belief systems.

As I look back, I can see that my out-of-control thinking came from beliefs like “bad things always happen to me” and “the things that are most important to me will all be snatched away.” I can see now where those beliefs came from, but I went through a lot of dark times before I was able to realize that and find freedom from them.

• A good example of a “bad” fear is the fear that we will never being good enough. Instead of moving us toward a better place in our lives, it creates even more fears. We may avoid trying something new or reaching out to people, because we’re afraid we’ll fail or be rejected and prove we’re not good enough.
• Another common “bad” fear is that if we’re not in control something bad will happen. We will absolutely wear ourselves out trying to stay on top of everything and make sure it goes the way we want it to, so we will feel safe.

Bad fears limit us. They keep us from being the person God intended us to be and it make us anxious, angry or just plain miserable.

GOD WANTS TO RELIEVE OUR FEARS
The King James version of the Bible says, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

I love the idea of having a sound mind, don’t you? But I also like the modern English version: “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)

Exploring the beliefs behind our fears helps us understand what we need to have God set right. He’s the only one that can give us an infusion of truth that will free us from the prison of our beliefs and the anxiety that they cause.

“Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32 (NIV)

TODAY’S CHAT: What beliefs have you become aware of that used to create fear and anxiety in you? How did God go about replacing them with truth?