Sexual addiction recovery can often be a long road. It’s often easy to be strong for a day or a week, but how do you sustain it for months or even years?
When I was looking for a name for the blog, I tried scores of different things. Some of them were dumb (I mean really dumb). A bunch of them were a little too far “out there” to be viable options. Others, that would have been good, were already taken by other blogs. At times I wondered whether I would ever find something suitable.
At one point in my desperation, I started trying to coin a whole new word that nobody else was using. One of those words was “Educouragement.” It didn’t end up being quite right for the blog name—it took a little too much explaining— but I realized that this one made-up word totally embodies the essence of what we, as wives, need to stay strong, survive, and even thrive on this journey—even if it drags on a little (or a lot) longer than we had hoped.
KEY #1 – EDUCATION
We all need to know the truth about our situation to be strong. We need to know what we’re up against. Learning the facts about our husband’s struggle, what part we play in it, and what to expect as we move forward, helps diminish the stress, shame and fear that comes from not understanding “the nature of the beast*.” Educ-ouragement reminds us of the importance of Education.*Let me clarify that the term “beast” here refers to the addiction, not to your husband!
KEY #2 – ENCOURAGEMENT
Some days we just don’t wake up feeling strong. We need safe, supportive people walking alongside us be our cheerleaders and voices of reason on the days we’re feeling weak, vulnerable or overwhelmed. We need someone to talk to when we discover that our husband isn’t doing as well as we had hoped and someone to give us a hug when we’re discouraged or angry about the “hand” life has dealt us. We can’t walk this road alone. We need God and others to help pick us up and get us to solid ground when we slide into the pit of despair. As much as we dread letting anyone in on our secret, E-du-couragement helps us remember that there will be days we absolutely need the Encouragement of others . . . and it’s normal.
KEY #3 – MENTORS
The “Ment” in Educourage-ment stands for mentors. It’s an acknowledgement of the fact that we need someone in our life that has walked down this road before. These sherpas, that have climbed out of this same dark valley before you, are the most equipped to help show you the way. They know the pitfalls. They can point out the difficult parts of the journey and they can show you how far you’ve come and what blessings lie just around the bend.
And . . . when all three of those things are in place—education, encouragement and mentors—we’ll discover, right in the middle of it all, KEY #4 – the COURAGE we need to keep moving forward.
Yep! Edu–courage–ment . . . it pretty much says it all.
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)
TODAY’S CHAT: The partnersonthejourney.com website and its Sisterhood of the Lonely Road blog have been created to specifically focus on promoting and providing these key essentials. Which one of the four parts of Educouragement is most lacking in your life right now? Please share in the response box below.
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