Being the wife of a sex addict is a lot like being trapped on Disney’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. If you’ve ever visited Disneyland, it’s likely that you have boarded the cute little cars, pulled back the safety bar and taken a spin into the English countryside. (If you aren’t familiar with this popular ride, you may want to check out the YouTube link at the bottom of the page to get a taste of what we’re talking about.)
The leisurely drive doesn’t last long. Just minutes into the ride it becomes noisy and confusing. The journey is filled with twists and turns. One minute the vehicle seems to be lugging and laboring like it’s about to take its last breath and the next minute you find yourself catapulting out of control into the darkness.
It’s unpredictable and it feels very unsafe. Things you expect to be solid crumble before you. Glimmers of light you hope will bring solace are, in actuality, dangers that threaten to crash into you head-on. Sometimes you wonder if you’ll make it through in one piece, but deep down you have the comfort of knowing that it’s all pretend and will be ending soon.
This crazy ride is a lot like living with an addict, except in that case it IS real and you don’t know if . . . or when . . . it will ever end. The things you always counted on have quickly disappeared. You have no clue what’s around the bend. Are better days ahead? Or, is the worst yet to come?
Just like on “Mr. Toad,” there are three things you can do to make the life-ride YOU are on feel safer and easier.
1. FIND A COACH – Find someone who has traveled on this road before you. Having them calmly share with you what you can expect and where the scariest parts are likely to be, will dramatically help ease the anxiety that facing the unknown brings.
2. BRING SOME FRIENDS ALONG – Having the car filled with people you know and and trust can make a huge difference. Just having someone to scream with can often turn panic into laughter. Having someone to grab on to . . . to squeeze your hand . . . to give you a smile, can help you ride it out.
3. REMEMBER THAT THIS, TOO, WILL END – God has promised that he has good plans for our lives. This “blip” is temporary. It may take a while, but there will, eventually, be an end to it all. We don’t know what that will look like or when it will happen, but it will not always be like this. And, no matter how long it takes, God has promised that he will never leave us or forsake us. He never jumps out of car. We can turn our back on him. We can ignore his help. But, he will always be there guiding us to safety.
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you, nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. ” —Deuteronomy 31:8
TODAY’S CHAT: Of the three—Coach, Friends, and God—which has been the most helpful to you and in what way? Has one or more been challenging to find or connect with? Why do you think this is?
YouTube Link: Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride
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