Sucking it Up Will Make You Sick!

Many wives have commented that they seem to be sick more often than normal since finding out about their husband’s problem or latest relapse. Every virus in the neighborhood appears to be  knocking on their door and inviting itself in. It’s just one thing after another—colds, flu, stomach problems, headaches and all manner of other ugliness. They wonder whether this escalation of illness is really related to their husband’s behaviors or if it’s all in their heads.

We are complex triune beings—body, mind, and spirit. Our physical bodies are dramatically affected by our emotions. Unresolved negative emotions can create a kind of perpetual stress that has actually been shown to reduce the effectiveness of our immune system. In fact, many experts believe that 75-90% of all visits to primary care physicians are directly related to stress.

A number of common emotions have the potential to create stress and trigger serious disease:

• Anger, hostility or repressed anger are often linked to hypertension, coronary artery disease, tension and migraine headaches, chronic back pain, TMJ and fibromyalgia.

• Anxiety and fear often lead to irritable bowel syndrome, panic attacks, mitral valve prolapses and heart palpitations.

• Resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness or self-hatred can cause autoimmune disorders, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and multiple sclerosis.

• Guilt and shame increase incidences of depression (which can ultimately lead to heart disease, osteoporosis and cancer.)

Depending on your individual situation you may be feeling intense levels of any one, or even several of these emotions. All of them, even if they are ignored or repressed, create the kind of stress that affects the very cells of your body.

Tension headaches and stomach, intestine, bowel or skin problems are often early signs that stress is affecting our bodies. If we simply medicate these symptoms instead of addressing the source of the stress, they can become chronic and other problems like sleeplessness, weight loss or gain and muscle aches may begin to show. Left unchecked it can ultimately lead to fatigue, depression and accelerated aging, as well as cancer, arthritis and other types of serious chronic illness.

The only way to stop these snowballing affects is to acknowledge your emotions, feel them and release them. These activities may help you begin that process:

 • Check your attitude – Deadly emotions are created or exacerbated by our attitudes. You choose how you think and respond to the situations in your life.

• Engage with yourself, God and others – Admit what you’re feeling, love yourself, acknowlege God’s presence, cast your cares on Him and voice your decision to trust Him. Make the choice to be loving to others and accept their love for you.

• Replace distorted thinking with truth – Your thoughts create your emotions. Watch out for automatic negative thinking. Let God and others help you find the truth.

• Forgive – Forgiveness releases buried anger, resentment, bitterness, shame, grief, guilt, hate and other toxic emotions.

• Lighten up – As hard as it may be right now, cultivate joy and laughter. Extended elevations of stress hormones like Cortisol act like acid in the body, especially affecting the brain and memory. Once these levels rise it’s difficult to lower them medically. Laughter is one of the few things that seems to help.

• Learn to relax – take a mini-break from daily stresses with activities like deep breathing, meditation and prayer, aerobic exercise, massage and good sleep.

As we learn, with the help of God and others, how to actually work through our stress and other negative feelings, we will often notice that our immune system is beginning to get stronger once again.

Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring heath to your body and nourishment to your bones. — Proverbs 3:5-8

TODAY’S CHAT: Our emotions (or repressed emotions) factor heavily in our physical health. Did God bring anything to your attention while reading this article? Is He nudging you to pursue any of the processing activities listed above? If so, please consider encouraging the rest of us by sharing in the comment box what God is showing you. 

Image courtesy of phasinphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Much of this post is an excerpt from our book, When Sex Causes Heartbreak by Janet K. Wheeler ©2013