A few weeks ago, we began a discussion about emotions. If you missed it, you can read it here.
God gives us emotions to provide an indication of what’s going on inside us. Many emotions, like anxiety, sadness, and anger warn us that there are important issues in our lives that need resolution.
When our training or experiences convince us that feelings can’t be trusted or are likely to cause us pain or harm, we may learn to ignore or shut them down. This effectively eliminates this important warning system and greatly increases the likelihood of becoming stuck in past hurts and hopelessness.
If we begin to seek God and others to help us heal and move forward, we often become keenly aware of how necessary it is to reconnect with our deepest feelings. As we venture into this strange and scary territory, it can be difficult to gauge whether we’re making progress or not.
WATCH FOR THESE SIX TELL-TALE SIGNS THAT YOUR
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS INCREASING:
- You’re increasingly able to embrace negative situations and outcomes as just a normal part of life’s experience. You can step back and look at them from an outsider’s perspective instead of internalizing them.
- You’re becoming more able to recognize and tolerate other people’s emotions and acknowledge their experiences. You can have empathy for others.
- You’re no longer ashamed or afraid to cry. You realize that crying is one of God’s mechanisms for releasing toxins from your body.
- You are able to acknowledge both your strengths and weaknesses; make peace with your mistakes; and talk positively to and about yourself. You are able to acknowledge that, although you aren’t perfect, you do have value and potential.
- You’re becoming more honest with yourself and others about what you’re feeling. You allow yourself to, increasingly, take appropriate action to solve problems, resolve arguments, stand up for yourself and risk being vulnerable.
- You are willing and know when to reach out for help when your feelings become overwhelming. You’re no longer ashamed to ask for and accept assistance.
Becoming “real” is a process. Celebrate each baby step and realize that it will take time and practice. There is no timeline or deadline. Resist the urge to compare yourself to others and, instead, rejoice each time you discover you are inching forward.
“. . . he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 1:6
TODAY’S CHAT: As you look at your own life, which of the six signs of increasing emotional intelligence have you seen the most growth in over the past few months?
2 Comments
Mary
April 4, 2016Standing up for myself is something I struggle with. I know I am making headway in this area, but those around me are not liking the change. It is a struggle that I have to give over to God each and every day! Janet, thanks for this great post!
Janet K. Wheeler
April 4, 2016Mary, you bring up a very good point! Even (or maybe, especially) when we are making solid, positive changes in our lives, we will often run into resistance.
Some of it comes from within. Doing something new is always a bit scary . . . but the most surprising resistance often comes from those closest to us. Our new healthier boundaries, requests and responses are scary to THEM, as well. We aren’t playing by the old “rules” anymore — they don’t know what to expect from us now and it freaks them out.
Some will even try to discourage the new healthier version of us and attempt to get us to go back to what feels more comfortable and predictable for them. Don’t let them sabotage the great progress you are making. Continue to move in the direction God affirms in your heart is right. That’s where greater freedom, joy and peace will be found!
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