Are You Feeling STUCK on the Crazy Train?

Today we’re going to continue the discussion we started last week. If  you haven’t read the first post in this series— Got a One Way Ticket on the Crazy Train?— you might want to pop over and read that first. You can find it here.

Years ago, when my husband was still having frequent slips back into his addictive behaviors, one particular day stands out in my mind. I was coming down with a cold and feeling increasingly miserable as the hours slipped by. It got so bad that I finally decided to throw in the towel and leave work early to go home and lie down for a while. As I turned into our alley, I was surprised to see that Bruce’s truck was already parked behind our house. Since it was still hours before he was due home from work,  I gathered up my stuff and hurried into the house to find out what was up, only to walk in on him acting out with pornography. He had come home with “a headache” so he would have time to indulge in his addiction while I was at work. I was already feeling sick when I came home, but those cold symptoms were quickly replaced by a huge rock in my stomach and the strong sense that I was in danger of throwing up at any moment.

For a long time after that, whenever I drove into the alley and saw his truck there (even when it should have been), I was overcome with anxiety and dread.  I remember so often sitting in the car, again feeling like I was going to throw up, crying out “God, I don’t want to go in there. Please don’t make me go in there.” But, it was my home. Eventually, I had to go in there.

Each time I found Bruce doing something innocent—watching TV, doing the dishes, reading. But, even so, it took months for those panicky feelings to stop plaguing me every time I saw his truck in the driveway.

I was lucky. Eventually those ugly feelings did go away. For many women they don’t. The anxiety, the fear, and other thoughts we outlined in last week’s blog post, become their unrelenting companions. They don’t go away, even after the initial negative situation has passed.

It’s realistic to expect a renewal of painful feelings any time your husband appears to be revisiting old behaviors. That’s just normal. But if significant time has passed without any indication that he’s acting out; and yet your anxiety, negative outlook and out of control emotions remain just as intense as ever, there’s a chance that you may be struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Covenant Eyes, the maker of  leading accountability and porn filtering software, recently released shocking statistics that indicate that 70% of the wives of sex addicts could be diagnosed with PTSD.

If you think you could be one of them, don’t panic. You aren’t a certifiable nut case and it’s not hopeless, as some would try to tell you. On the other hand, PTSD, like addiction, won’t just go away by itself. If you are being affected by it, you’ll need to embark on a recovery process of your own that will lead you back to a place of peace. More on that later.

PTSD IS MORE COMMON THAN YOU THINK
Traditionally PTSD has been closely associated with combat veterans who continue to be affected by the horrors of what they have seen and experienced in battle long after they are safely back home.

In recent years, however, it has become widely accepted that this anxiety disorder can affect anyone who has seen or experienced a traumatic event—something that feels physically or emotionally dangerous. Those experiencing sexual assault, child abuse, accidents, natural disasters and, yes, even those married to sex addicts are prime candidates.

Overall, it’s estimated that 7 or 8 out of 100 people will have PTSD at some point in their lives. Millions of people are struggling with it in any given year in the United States alone.

WHY ARE WE SO VULNERABLE?
Surprisingly, statistics show that the likelihood of PTSD in the wives of sex addicts could be even greater than that of returning soldiers. How could that be?

Well, that’s exactly what we’ll be exploring next week—be watching for it.

Click here to read Part 3,  Why am I on this Crazy Train?