Shame is a burden that none of us needs to carry. Working through the following steps will help eliminate the extensive effects of carrying shame.
1. ANALYZE THE SITUATION
• Step back from the problem that lead to the shame and view it in a different light—reframe it.
• Look at the external factors that contributed to that original situation
• Differentiate between what YOU caused and what THEY (someone else) caused. Realize that if someone else’s choices created the problem and YOU are feeling guilt and shame about it, it is FALSE guilt.
• If your shame is because of something YOU did, acknowledge that there is a difference between BEING a bad person and DOING something bad.
2. RESPOND APPROPRIATELY
If YOUR actions caused the shame:
• Ask forgiveness for your sin or mistakes
• Take authority over the enemy and connected spirits
• Ask the Holy Spirit to free you from the shame
If THEIR actions caused your shame:
• Confess to God that you’re wrestling with shame
• Repent of all unforgiveness and/or resentment you have toward the offender
• Make a choice to forgive those who offended you and brought shame into your life
3. REACH OUT
• Don’t believe everything you think! Challenge shame-based thoughts and ask God to replace them with truth. You’ll find more information on the lies we tell ourselves in Shame Off You!
• Make connections with family, friends, and God. Connecting with others helps increase self-acceptance which, in turn, helps us have more acceptance for others and allows us to realize that “This is human. I am human. Others are human.”
Remember, the secret to finding freedom from shame is finding and reaching out to others and getting honest with both them and ourselves about what we’re really feeling.
“Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32
TODAY’S CHAT: Which of the three steps to less shame will be the hardest for you? Why?
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