Talk hurts! We’re human—we worry about what people are saying about us. Are they judging us? Are they spreading rumors? Or, even worse, are they out and out lying about us? Just the idea of it puts a big knot in our stomach.
But, what if THEY aren’t the ones we should be worrying about? What if the biggest lies are coming from someone within our own home?
THE TRUTH HURTS
Many years ago, when I was first trying to figure out why my life was such a mess, I participated in a local healing ministry program. The leader of my small group was a warm “grandmotherly” type. Everybody loved her.
In spite of a very horrific childhood, she had grown into one of the most caring and encouraging women I have ever had the privilege to meet.
She had one habit, however, that regularly stopped me in my tracks. As I, and the other members of the group, shared what a particular lesson had brought to light for us, she would often interrupt us with a firm “that’s a lie.”
That proclamation may sound harsh and judgemental, but she said it with such love and compassion, that it caused us to pause and think. I quickly realized that her words usually followed a statement from one of us that truly was harsh and judgemental. Most often we were using self-limiting words like “I’ll never get it,” “I’m just dumb,” “Nobody cares about me,” “I’m a screw-up,” and a thousand other variations of “I’m not good enough.”
They were all contrary to what God says about us. If God’s word is THE truth, then the things we were saying were far from it. It made me realize how frequently I spoke LIES about myself.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
Are YOU your own worst judge? Are YOU telling lies about yourself? Are YOU the one that is keeping yourself from being all God intended you to be? Is it YOUR talk that ultimately has the power to hurt you the most?
WHY DO WE CONTINUE TO REPEAT THESE LIES?
We do it because, deep down, that’s what we believe. Our beliefs become the iron-clad rules we live by.
A belief that nobody cares about me may create the rule that “I have to keep my needs and struggles a secret and take care of them myself.”
A belief that I am dumb, uncoordinated, or a failure, quickly morphs into the rule “I better not even try certain things, so I won’t embarrass myself.”
A belief that I’m not good enough becomes the rule “I must pretend to be somebody other than the real me so the world won’t see how “unacceptable” I really am.”
And so it goes. Our experiences—often encouraged by the enemy’s lies to and about us—create our beliefs. And, whether we’re aware of them or not, those beliefs control both us and our future.
HOW CAN I FIND OUT WHAT I BELIEVE?
Listen.
- Listen to what you say to others.
- Listen to what you say to, and about, yourself.
- Listen to the unspoken thoughts that pop into your brain.
- Listen to the “negative self talk” that your brain replays over and over.
Your words will reveal your beliefs.
WHAT NOW?
The good news is that we aren’t stuck with our beliefs, no matter how long we have had them. They can be rewritten and, when they are, it will change the way we think and the way we act. It will change our future.
We’ll begin taking a look at how to change our beliefs in next week’s blog.
“Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”
—John 8:32 (NIV)
TODAY’S CHAT: As you listen to yourself talk this week, what do you hear yourself saying? What beliefs are those words uncovering?
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